Friend ≠ Housemate

This is day two of my rant about losing my current housemates. If you don’t want to read these then I would suggest clicking away now.

When the house mate who manned up enough to inform me that some of the other house mates thought it may be best if I move out, he firstly asked if I had any friends on my course. I obviously answered ‘Yes’ as I think I do. I have people on my course that I chat to at least every other day. I am also friendly with anyone on our course as we are all physicists, we are all into the same general things and we are all interested in Physics. This makes it easy to get along with someone, though as anyone who is now at University will understand, there is a difference between friends and housemates.

I had a lot of friends back at Trent, and quite a few close friends, though I doubt I could live with very few of them. There is a difference between being friends with someone, hanging out with them in between lectures or chatting to them before them, and living with someone. It’s the same logic that applies to couples who wait a long time before moving intogether, as the style and needs are different.

I may have friends on my course but do I really have friends I can go up to and say ‘Can I live with you next year?’ I don’t know. I’ve had one offer from another House Hunter in Swansea but I don’t know whether to take it. While my options may be narrow, I don’t want to make a rash decision of any offer that I get. The lesson I learnt from house hunting was that when times get desperate, take what you can, but it is best to take time to consider your options and make an informed decision.

And the last thing it has made me reconsider is why I was not wanted as a house mate next year. If it is the different views on religion, then I don’t know what I can do. I won’t change my views just to make someone happy, even if I try and keep them polite and quiet most of the time. If it is due to my ability to integrate being comparable to ex then there is not a lot I can do about that.

My ability to socialise is severely compromised by factors outside of my control. Those online tests that compare your answers to certain to questions to the answers given by those with autism, and I always come out exactly on the border between autism and normal social ability. Certain old friends from Trent know of my awkwardness around crowds and my difficulty with making new friends, it is not something I can really overcome. I try and get round it in my own way but there is only so much I can do.

All in all, I feel a bit like there is nothing I can do to appease these people, as there is nothing I can do with the things they take issue to.

TMIAP

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